All we hear about non custodial dads is they run out on their kids.  How about the dads who DO pay their support, but are treated like red headed step children by the court system.  They can't deduct the support payments on their taxes.  Yet if there is a Step Dad in the picture he gets all the tax breaks.  They can have a large income and the poor guy gets taken to the cleaners. They are driving around in cars that the child support pays for and the kids get neglected.  All the kids are to Step Dad is a source of income.  I know it is not supposed to come up in court as to the reason for the divorce.  But you have cheating women who cry to the system about their husband's leaving them.  Dad assuming that Mom is going to do right by the children, especially if they are girls and then DON"T.  Mom's partying up a storm, maybe at the casinos, spending the child support money!!!  Then there is no way to get the kids out of the house unless she can be proven unfit.  But if you call DHS, they call first to make an appointment, tipping off the Mom!!!

Mom's are given the benefit of the doubt in the courts.  Putting on the tears, the pitiful looks and wearing their everday clothes so they look abandonded.  Oh, precious mom, can do no wrong.  Hey just because they gave birth doesn't make them maternal.

I have been on both ends of this system.  Being pitiful and leaving the dad out the childrens lives only comes back to bite mom in the butt as resentment when the children grow up.

Something needs to be done to review these cases on a regular basis at NOT at the financial and emotional expense of the Dad.  Mom's who recieve child support should be held accountable for how the money is being spent.

 

What about dad's that are good to thier children and his wife but the wife keeps running out on the husband. You hear all the time about the father leaving the wife and kids for another women but what about when she does it. And always takes her back.

Then when the husband makes her upset and she takes the kids and runs to another state and hides. Lets be real if the man did that the law would be all over him. But thank God for the law now. The mother loses everything when the husband stops feeling sorry for him self and takes her to court.

Stop hiding in Memphis and come back and face the music.

I agree with you.  The woman can run around on her husband, but is still the pitiful victim.  Oh, "she was forced into it", "he treated her awful" or "she had to turn to someone else in desperation".  Like, Mary Winkler.  How do we know what went on in that bedroom.  She may have been the one to want the pornography and then used it against him.  It's her word against his and HE's DEAD!!!!

My husband's exwife was having an affair with her own father.  Yet unless he could have gotten pictures, he still got taken to the cleaners.  Almost 10 years later she is still cleaning his clock!!!

I have been saying this for years. I agree with you. I have been on both ends of this problem. My nephew's dad has not paid a penny to help raise his child and he is now 4 yrs. old. But, i have friends that do pay child support but the court system abuses them. Men need to start complaining and rallying to change the laws in TN. I hear TN is one of the worst states when it comes to this topic. But change can happen if Men make noise to people in power. Like why do men have to pay child support when their wife gets pregnant by another man. Then once paternity is established, he cant sue the woman?? That is so much bull! The state would rather take the wrong persons money than go after the right one. And what about women that spend the money on their hair, nails, and clubbing. Shouldnt the money go toward helping the kids? It really makes me mad that I work 2 jobs and all these darn taxes come out of my check. While these trifling women get to sit at home and make more babies, and send the bill to me and the dads. Why shouldnt they have to work? I hope legislature starts to review these cases soon. CS should be tax deductible. All women have to do is cry and say the man left, and the courts take their side. When is the court going to catch on? Some men are good fathers. And some moms and the system push good dads out.

gma55:

All we hear about non custodial dads is they run out on their kids.  How about the dads who DO pay their support, but are treated like red headed step children by the court system.  They can't deduct the support payments on their taxes.  Yet if there is a Step Dad in the picture he gets all the tax breaks.  They can have a large income and the poor guy gets taken to the cleaners. They are driving around in cars that the child support pays for and the kids get neglected.  All the kids are to Step Dad is a source of income.  I know it is not supposed to come up in court as to the reason for the divorce.  But you have cheating women who cry to the system about their husband's leaving them.  Dad assuming that Mom is going to do right by the children, especially if they are girls and then DON"T.  Mom's partying up a storm, maybe at the casinos, spending the child support money!!!  Then there is no way to get the kids out of the house unless she can be proven unfit.  But if you call DHS, they call first to make an appointment, tipping off the Mom!!!

Mom's are given the benefit of the doubt in the courts.  Putting on the tears, the pitiful looks and wearing their everday clothes so they look abandonded.  Oh, precious mom, can do no wrong.  Hey just because they gave birth doesn't make them maternal.

I have been on both ends of this system.  Being pitiful and leaving the dad out the childrens lives only comes back to bite mom in the butt as resentment when the children grow up.

Something needs to be done to review these cases on a regular basis at NOT at the financial and emotional expense of the Dad.  Mom's who recieve child support should be held accountable for how the money is being spent.

 

My husband's ex wife is remarried, gets his income, her income, child support for one child and her other daughter she had declared retarded by falsefying records at the doctors she worked for.   She tried to get child support for life!!!!!  She graduated form High School!!!  When my husband went up against her attorney he won!!!  But she is getting SSI for her.  One of my 2 week paychecks use to go to her for child support.  When the child support was reduced it only went down by $100!!!!  Give me a break.  She also knows that if he doesn't see the kids he doesn't get credit on his share.  So she has planned it to where he was pretty much forced to give up visitation.  She's made it to where the kids are afraid to see him or she will punish them.  Did you see now where if a man tries to leave the country if he applies for a pass port and owes over $2500 in back child support he has to pay the arrearage before he can get it?   This REALLY is a double standard!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thats terrible. I feel for you. Cause I dont think i could withstand that. It would probably get ugly. But change will come. Remember at first the courts did not consider both incomes a while back. Now, since I believe 2005 both incomes are looked at and the number of days kids are kept. People just dont realize how the kids are hurt in all this.

That's great if the ex would allow mu husband to see his kids.  She gets all the credits on her taxes for the kids.  She also has him pay the insurance and he gets financially penalized for not spending time with the kids.  It's been almost 10 years, she won't let up.  She's a greedy, selfish beast. Can't post the other word. She akso doesn't want us to see what her kids are living in, filth.  Plus she is turning the kids into the same thing.

Just put what the kids need first, and try your best to disregard her. I know its hard. But with kids involved you have to do whats best for them and not the grown ups. If she is this bad start documenting and keep proof. Then take her to court. Because if the courts think you are being petty, it will be thrown out. Also, is there any court order for visitation? He should even try to petition for joint custody. Then his time with the kids are court ordered (which can be enforced or she will be held in contempt). Child support depends on amount of time with kids and each persons income. Even still at least he gets time with his kids. Its easier to get joint custody, rather than full custody. Start getting concerned fathers and others together. Those that are genuine and fight issues like this from the top. The law has to hear all these complaints and case by case problems. Its obvious the law is onesided with the woman. Sad to say, some deadbeat dads make it bad for the good ones.

I had never missed a payment, even gave "gifts" when I didn't write child support on the check. "Always on time and never late, obligation complete.", is what IT SAYS on my three credit reporting agencies.  I have four daughters and three grandsons from my failed marriage to a greedy, selfish, immoral and conivining female, who's is still the same person and will never change. I did not know this woman could be a whore, but she is. That sad fact the daughters, realize to this day.

I stayed and paid the child support from 1994 to 2003. At first I lived out of my car for 7 1/2 weeks because I din't have enough money to pay rent. Gave her the house and everything in it. because the judge said so. I paid the maximum 50% child support, also paid for health insurance on all four daughters and also paid for whatever the health insurance did not. I also paid for other things not covered that my daughters needed that their mother wouldn't buy them. She went on gambling trips to Tunica and ate out a lot with girlfriends and bought things for herself and neglected her daughters.

Visitation was granted and when I went to pick up my daughters I was told, "I've changed my mind, I am going to do something with the girls this weekend." When I contested this, she would call the Bartlett police and they would come over and confront me. Three times I was handcuffed and put in the cop car, which later drove me out of Bartlett. Once there, they released me and told me "DO NOT  COME BACK TO TOWN TONIGHT!"  They have since changed the law where if someone calls in a domestic disturbance call someone will be arrested. Seems lilke the divorced mothers of Bartlett used that disturbance thing too much.

I think that the law at one time was definately against the man, you paid or you went to prison in Arkansas. That's where one of my friends ended up when he missed payments due to the fact he had to have a triple by-pass and got behind and couldn't catch up. Yes, they put him in jail for 11 months and 29 days in Arkansas with heart problems and they don't care about your medical condition or medicines you need when you're there. 

My one daughter has a child, out of wedlock, by a slug that has had two other children by two other different women. This boy hasn't paid once, child support due his three children. Been in front of a judge  many times as a result and the judge keeps warning him to pay up or he will go to jail. When asked why they don't jail him? The judge always says he can pay better on the outside.  I remember at one of my court hearings to get a decrease on child support, (which by the way took 10 months of overpayments to get a court date). a judge told this woman who hauled the father in court for being $10,000 + behind, "Mame, I can't put this man in jail for being behind because he is a police officer and I will not do it."  Knocked my socks off when I heard that,

I am through with all child support payments. Now I give to my children as I want to and their mother knows I never left my kids and love them very much, especially the grandsons that just about wear me out every time I see them.       

       

    

I am currently in a situation where I have had custody of my son for over 6 months and I am still paying child support to his mother. Memphis Child Support office is telling me that the mother has to go down to the Child Support office and sign some paperwork to have child support payments stopped.  This is the most ridiculious thing I ever heard, especially since she did not want to volunatrily give up custody.  I have done everything possible to resolve this matter, but it seems as if no one in the child support office will listen to fathers.Does anyone have a number to contact anyone in the child support agency that will listen to a fathers issues and concerns?

n

If you have the legal document that gives you custody.  Take that and a birth certificate and your ID with oyu to Juevenile court and they can have it stopped.

Yes,I also agree with that because my husband is a great husband and father. He pays child support to two children outside the home. The mothers get with these old dead beat men that don't help them  and  expect the father  to pick up the pace but he does his part and they have to do theirs and be considerate of his family that he has in his home. I also think that the records should be reviewed on what they are doing with their money to help benefit the child or children in the home.

I think there should be "bad woman insurance" policies available.
That way if you marry one that is bad with a credit card or just gets one and rings it out and then gets more, or, one with lots of "no pays" on debt, or, collections, or is just basically "in the way" of you making a nickel, there should be insurance for that. There could be "deadbeat dad" policies and "bad man" policies. Could fix a lot of woe.

I think there are just as many bad mothers as there are bad fathers. However, more focus needs to be put on the children. I have a 7 year old child support order, and have been raising my daughter alone since she was 2. I have to make my yearly trips to Juvenile Court, that do nothing but cost me money, because he never pays. I am owed over $46,000 in child support, I have to go back to court Nov. 30th and I can already give you a play by play of what will happen. NOTHING, other me missing more work. Juvenile Court serves no purpose. If you parent a child you should be prepared for everything that goes with it including child support. Parents need to work on their interpersonal relationships, and grow up. I would trade every penny of the $46,000 I am owed, just to have him be the father he was suppose to be. The children get caught in the middle of things they shouldn't have to worry about. The custodial parent shouldn't have to answer questions about why their mom or dad isn't around, or have to explain why there isn't enough money for the toy, they are dying to have. When people decide to part ways you may stop loving that person, but not the child. ITS NOT ABOUT THE ADULTS, ITS ABOUT THE CHILD. Alot of children have been dealt a raw hand in life, and yes non-custodial parents on occasion do to. All we can do is be there for our children and keep them out of grown up crossfires, sometimes one or the other parent needs to wave the white flag, and be the parents they chose to be before it all went bad. For every dad paying child support, sometimes maybe more than they should, remember there are moms like me out there who have never received a dime.